To Helmet: On fears and the lack of their power.

     Friend, I've recently been acquainted with you and somewhat been hearing about your routines. From my limited interaction with you, I can tell that you are a humble man with limited ulterior motives. You simply want a humble life filled with the small joys and the pleasure of fatherhood and being a good husband. Yet, you feel as if your vice blinds you and keeps you in a stranglehold, in which you are a part of a vicious cycle. I am writing this as a way to convince you of your own power as well as the limited power of your fears. 

    As a rule of thumb, when I face difficulty, fear, terror, pain, anger, etc in life, I immediately stop and take a step back. I take deep breaths and try to compose myself while looking at the big picture and looking for opportunities for a safe counterattack. If you've ever played chess before you'll know that acting on impulse and making a series of quick and thoughtless decisions/actions leads to inevitable disaster. This is not any different in our recovery. I can assure you that your relapses were not meticulously thought through and strategized. In fact they were the opposite, a series of impulsive decisions that had 0 mental fortitude behind it. 

Enough of this. No hour of life wasted, no action without the proper thought behind it. 

    When you step back and put the impulse to the test, you will find that none of it makes rational sense. Addictions are dangerous, but a lack of self-control is equally, if not more dangerous.

    If you step back and look at what you were able to accomplish and how far you've come, you will realize your own power. This power, though seemingly non-existent at times, was given to us by our creator. It is omni-present and waiting to be controlled and utilized. Now how do we access this? Well you already have! If you hadn't could you make it through a day? It seems difficult yet our willpower musters the strength to get on with things each day. The more things to get done, the stronger it gets. It's the often used muscle that is the strongest.

    Your fears are only as strong as you make them. But if you face your fears with courage, you will come out on top each time. Stop falling to your own trap. The first step in recovery is regaining self-respect. Self-respect will only come when you decide to pick yourself by the bootstraps and face the day. 

Farewell.